Happy Valentine's Day??
Updated: Mar 6, 2020
In the past, I hated Valentine's Day. I dreaded the day because there was no one to celebrate it with. Let me take you back a bit, after my second divorce, I decided that I was not going to jump into any relationships so easily. And I haven't, hence I am still single, so Valentine's day was not a day that I looked forward to, in all honesty, I hated all the holidays because I was alone.
The Lonely Hermits
So many years were wasted hating everything. It started with hating holidays, then hating weekends, then before I knew it I was hating my whole life. I was miserable and bringing others down. I realized that I did not want to bring negative vibes into anyone's life, so I kept myself away from so many people and ended up being alone all the time. For the exception of having my father around who made my days bright, it was still lonely when he was not around.
The more I became this lonely hermit, the more I found other lonely hermits that would bring me down even more. They say like attracts like and that is what I was doing, I was attracting myself in other people. One Saturday morning, the sun was bright and the day was beautiful, it made me happy. I wanted to do something fun and I invited one of my lonely hermit friends to join me. I was feeling like I was on top of the world enjoying such a beautiful day and all my friends kept doing was talking about how it would be nice to have a man to share such a beautiful day, how miserable she was for being alone on a beautiful day. I was having a wonderful time until she brought it down for me. For the first time, I felt the toxic in my soul and I did not like it.
Happy Valentines Day to Me!!
Toxic relationships can be with anyone, a loved one, a friend or a family member. I was able to start enjoying a day until the toxins kicked in and it was over, I wanted to have more beautiful days, so I had to make a choice to change. We all know change is not easy. Of course, it would take time because I now have a close circle of lonely toxic hermits that I now called my friends.
I started to watch positive movies, shows and listening to positive songs. When I went to church I went for the right reasons and before I knew it, my circle of toxic friends slowly started to disappear and a new circle of positive friends came together. I had to love myself enough to transition from a lonely hermit to a happy single lady.
God's timing is always perfect and I had to learn to trust Him with my life. I started to buy myself gifts on my birthday, on Valentine's Day, on Mother's Day, etc... I started to enjoy the holidays because I started doing things for me. I deserve what I get for myself because I decided to make the change and love myself enough to make a difference in my own life.
Do I like me? Yes, I do...